Posts tagged " funeral "

On Soil and Flowers

November 2nd, 2016 Posted by Tabula Rasa No Comment yet

I don’t know if it’s the age, or the fact that I have a young child, but at a funeral today, for a moment, I became frightfully aware of my mortality. I stood there, behind the crowd in front of the open casket, black coats waving in the autumn breeze, the sun shining on the white hair of the deceased. His full head of hair was all I could bear to see from where I chose to stay, blocked by the ebony flock, even though I did not know him.

I’ve never been afraid to die, I don’t think anyone really is until they have some responsibility other than themselves, until they reach an age where it becomes a possibility other than a random accident, a terrible illness. I’ve never really even thought of death. Until today.

There was soil beneath my feet from nearby graves, I shuffle my feet to spread it out, the cemetery is crowded, busy. I know other people buried there.

The funeral is serene, it flows in ways few Greek funerals do. A man hands out flowers to everyone in the procession, he gives me some white ones. I immediately pull out my phone and take a photograph of it, aware of but at the same time, oblivious to my disrespect, knowing that I will need it later, that I will have to say something that may need an illustration, I need it to be real.

The casket is lowered into the grave by two workmen, their clothes dirty, dusty, not black, some bright color, I think there was green and white, maybe yellow. We walk by the grave and throw in a handful of soil and our flower, one by one. And we walk away.

I remember my grandmother, who has been claiming that she is old and dying tomorrow for over thirty years. I suddenly understand her fear, but I don’t want to speak of it. I want to go, quickly, to do things, what things I do not yet know.

Shortly after, in the safety of my car, the fear is a memory. I look at my hand, there are traces of soil and it smells of flowers.

Pieces: a novel

“Pieces” is the winner of the silver medal at the 2017 Independent Publishers Awards (IPPY), and a finalist at the USA Best Book Awards and International Book Awards.

When Clouds Embrace: a children's book

All proceeds from the sales of "When Clouds Embrace" will go to Giving for Greece, a foundation that works to help the hundreds of unaccompanied refugee minors in Greece.